I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
