Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
