Farmville is her only friend.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
