Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
