his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
