I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm really busy with my period
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