he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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