i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
