This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
