1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
