Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
