sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize