Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
