Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
