I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
