i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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