he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
