Me too!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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