remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
