We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
