yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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