Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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