return my video game
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
