Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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