No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
