Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
