Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize