shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
