youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
