put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
