Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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