i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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