Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
