I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
