I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
