He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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