the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
