Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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