HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
