we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
