Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
