when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
