I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
