he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize