I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
