did you get engaged???
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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