dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
