I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
