I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
