i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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