Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
