I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
