Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I need to calm my uterus...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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