My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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