Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
