i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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