yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
