apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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