sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
