There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
