I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you would pick up someone in the library
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize