nut hugger
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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