We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
